• Akhila Balasubramaniam

How to share your burden with friends without depleting them

My close friends have the privilege of getting to spend a lot of quality time making poor quality conversations with me.

They're the ones who keep us sane (really? 😏) through our rollercoaster life journeys. Sharing our troubles makes them endurable. And this doesn't have to be very serious, even silly things count.

My close friends get to see the peak of my silliness and immaturity. I know they accept me for the cribbing, nagging and snide remarks when done in moderation, they even manage to find some of it funny.

Yesterday I was overthinking, as I usually do, about the traits that put me off in some people. When they're constantly complaining, criticising and there's always something bad happening to them, it drains the life out of me. I started to wonder if I was doing the same with my friends? Did they not know how to draw boundaries with me? Were they struggling to communicate it? (If you’re reading this and you’re my close friend and if this is true, better tell me now)

At what point does sharing your worries become the draining complaints? Do I have to stop being silly and behave positive and mature all the time?

We’re here to support each other, but we've to keep in mind to give more than we take from them. My friends assure me that they can entertain my pettiness as long as I'm self-aware and it doesn't deplete them. This reminder helped me refocus my energy towards nourishing these relationships. Not just for them, it makes me happier when I spread positivity and love.

I want them to leave the conversation with good vibes and higher energy. Each of us has those few traits in us that our friends cherish. For me, it’s the abundance of absurd humour and being a good listener. Reflect on your quirks. It's easy to take them for granted, use this as a reminder to give generously to those who matter.

P.S. This is only relevant to those closest circle of friends. The whole narrative changes when the friends are not close enough 🤓

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